He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
