I feel great
I just peed on a car
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
