wakey wakey hands off snakey
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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