i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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