Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
youre lurking in front of me
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
