what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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