I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
