Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
