He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
