ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
