No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
