how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
