just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Randomize
