return my video game
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
