oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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