By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
