i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
