I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
