i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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