Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When did angry sex become our thing?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
