Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
