I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
