did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm sobbing to NWA
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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