Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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