My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
