i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
