So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
