Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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