we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
