im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
