We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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