I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
dude. I can hear the air.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
