I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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