They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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