Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
