he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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