I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
