SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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