i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
