just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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