I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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