i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
