i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
