saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
