how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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