The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
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