its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I smell like Dick and happiness
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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