from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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