i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
