its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
