she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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