HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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